


Love Remains the Same

by interwebconvos



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: F/F, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-22
Updated: 2017-09-21
Packaged: 2018-12-05 15:27:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 16,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11580873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/interwebconvos/pseuds/interwebconvos
Summary: After Robert and Aaron's recent break up they both need some space. Robert wants to get back together so badly that he turns to drink to handle it, mean while Aaron decides to rent out the other flat in the Mill to a new man in town.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> I was talking to someone on twitter recently (@hugaarondingle) and I was joking around but writing this, but then I ended up starting to actually write it... one of the writers had mentioned when they moved in, that there was another flat in the other part of the Mill, so I thought it would be interesting if someone else moved in and made Robert jealous for once.  
> I can't guarantee it will be updated very quickly... but I will write this. I have like a big multi-character story in my mind... including a new friend for Rob.

Adam picked Aaron up from the airport home from Sandra's, Liv and Chas would be back in a few more days, but Aaron felt he had been gone long enough. Robert had been calling him for weeks now, but he hadn't wanted to return any of his calls yet, Aaron hadn't even let him know he was coming home yet. Adam had been updating him on things going on with Robert, Aaron knew he moved back into the Mill a while ago, which Aaron wasn't looking forward to dealing with, but he just wanted to get back to his life. 

Robert limped out of the Woolpack, still on crutches after his fall. He had been drinking like he had been for weeks, trying to deal while Aaron was away, and had fallen down the stairs. He had made a right fool of himself in the pub, and Vic had pulled him out by his ear. He should have never let her leave. But it was in the past now, all he had to do was keep standing. As he hobbled down main street he noticed Adam driving Aaron's car with a particularly Aaron-shaped passenger in his seat. His heart stopped immediately, he couldn't believe it was actually happening. He watched as Adam dropped Aaron off, and drove off giving him space. 

Robert walked into the house, finding Aaron just standing in the kitchen, his bags still at the door. “You've made yourself comfortable,” he noted, nodding to Robert's stuff that was still all around the house. He picked up a bottle of the whiskey Robert had been drinking the night before. “What happened to your leg? Did it have to do with this?” Robert was quiet, he didn't have an explanation, except everything he had already left Aaron voicemails about. He had filled his inbox up completely with all the drunken messages he had left him telling him how much he missed him.   
“How are you doing?” he asked Aaron instead. “I missed ya... I know we can fix this Aaron--”   
Aaron rubbed his hand down his face, looking exasperated. “Robert, you can't do this. You can't just decide you're going to move back in here and decide it's going to fix things.”   
“Aaron, I know you love me,” Robert said, getting desperate again. “I won't let you down, not again.”   
“How many times have I heard that,” Aaron responded. “For now I think we just need a break, Rob. That's what this whole thing was, me going away. I can't deal with this, you being here, and Rebecca and the baby.”  
“I don't want the--”   
“I know, Rob, I just don't care anymore. I need you to go, really go this time,” he said, walking away, heading toward the stairs to go lie down.   
Robert just stood in the kitchen, his chest feeling heavy. “Aaron, I just wanted you to see: I'm not giving up on this. I want to fix this.”   
“I know Rob, not right now,” Aaron said shaking his head.   
Robert stood still in the doorway, having not even really set foot into his house. There had been so much potential of what they could have been in this place, and now it had just become a mess. Every part of this home of theirs was ruined, even Robert didn't know how much it hurt for Aaron to walk back in here. First Gordon's money ruined it, then Rebecca, and then Jason, and now this... them. It had taken so much for Aaron to come back here. Deep down he wanted it to work with Robert too, he had tried so hard to forgive him, he still wanted to, but he couldn't sacrifice himself anymore to go around in circles. The only reason he came back here was because this had been his home, and a part of him hoped it would feel that way again soon.  
Robert turned to leave, respecting Aaron's decision. Then he turned back, “You're not staying here alone, are you?” Robert asked. “I don't want you to be alone...”   
“Adam's coming back over in a bit,” Aaron told him to ease his worried heart. He knew that Rob still cared about him, and he didn't want him to stress over nothing. He was fine. Or at least, that's what he would keep telling himself. Robert nodded and turned back, before Aaron stopped him again, “Rob?”   
“Hmm?” he asked, looking up at his husband, a hint of hope still glowing in his eyes.   
“Adam and I, we're going to finish fixing up the other flat in the house. I want to rent it out... I don't know to who yet, but I just wanted you to know,” Aaron told him. Robert didn't know how to feel about this information, it was Aaron's house technically, Robert had put work into it too, and he had worked so hard to have it ready for Aaron... but it was Aaron and Liv's house. So he nodded, and finally left, leaving Aaron alone in peace. He would fight, he wanted to, but he had put his foot in it one too many times, tonight he would leave him alone. Vic had been right weeks ago, when she told him he needed his space. If this was what Aaron needed then Robert had to respect that. He had tried to push his husband too many times before, with Gordon's letter, and with this money... if he really wanted to fix things, he had to let things to be and let Aaron figure out what he wanted.


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not a lot to say for this chapter. Mostly just some build up and character intro.

The other flat hadn't actually needed that much work. Robert had pretty much fixed it up along with their flat before Aaron got back home. He had told Aaron that Liv had been pushing for them to let her live there, which gave them both a laugh.

Adam had been staying with Aaron while Robert was gone, but the place still seemed tainted, most nights Aaron would slip away and sleep in the bed they had gotten in the new flat. He often tried to push the image of Robert sleeping on the couch at the pub while he was away in prison, a lot of things reminded him of Robert, but he knew he had made the right decision. He couldn't deal with living here, let alone living with him right now.

 

Adam had to talk him out of painting the whole place black and only chucking in a bed and walking away. “You need to decorate a little for them. Make it look a bit cozy, not like a bomb shelter,” he had scolded him. “No wonder Robert did all the decorating.” So he chucked in some of Robert's knick knacks from around their house.

It took a couple weeks, but together they finished it, and it was ready for someone to move in.

Liv had returned by that point, as had Chas, who had instantly tried to barre both Robert and Rebecca, until Aaron asked her not to, even though he knew Robert's liver probably would have appreciated the break. Instead Chas refused to serve them personally, which left Vic to do more bartending than cooking during parts of the day.

Liv had been trying to convince Aaron to let Gabby move into the flat since Adam had practically moved in (sleeping on the couch since Liv had returned), but the idea of having to teenage girls under his roof sounded like torturer.

 

Meanwhile Robert had spent most of his days waiting around places hoping Aaron would show up. Now that he had all that money he wasn't too concerned about work. He put in minimal effort, and ignored Jimmy most days. He would just sit around the porta cabin waiting for Aaron to show up, or he would wait around the pub for him to come around with Adam for drinks. Aaron was never rude to him when they did cross paths, he was friendly, he still loved him after all, but they could cut the tension with a knife.

Often they wouldn't even show up in the pub, and Robert suspected that they had slipped into town to go to Bar West or somewhere because they knew Robert would never follow them there. He felt a bit of a peng in his chest when he thought about Bar West, Aaron had suggested it a few times, just for fun and to get out of the village, but Robert always turned down the idea. Even now, after coming out he still didn't feel comfortable with the idea of going there. He wasn't sure quite what it was, internalized bi-phobia surely. He still even hated saying bisexual, he only said it to Aaron on the rare occasion. It was just a thing they all knew, and it didn't matter because he had Aaron. But maybe if he had put in more efforts they wouldn't have as many fights... or they would, who knew.

One night Robert sat in the pub, suspecting Aaron and Adam had gone to Bar West, but still hoping as he downed drink after drink, when someone new entered the pub. She was tall, with long red hair, and long legs. She was trudging a big suitcase behind her, which she left at the door and waltzed over to the bar. She stood a few seats down from Robert, but he barely noticed her, aside from the general noticing of someone new entering the room. He was too reoccupied by the thought that she wasn't Aaron.

“Man, who do you have to fuck to get a drink around here,” she said in an American accent. A few people around the pub turned their heads, confused by the foreigner. Aside from people passing through from Hotten and the surrounding area they don't usually have people that far out of town visiting.

Vic came rushing out at the sound of a voice that wasn't Robert demanding another. “Soz about that, what can I get you?” she asked, in the most fake polite voice she could muster.

“Just a pint please,” the foreigner requested. Vic began making small talk, asking where she was from and what not. It turned out that she was from Canada and not the states... not that that made a whole difference, aside from the fact that she wasn't under the reign of Trump, it was still a very far away.

After a few minutes of chit chat, Vic had made another ridiculously fast friend, and Robert was feeling impatient. “Vic!” he called, shoving his glass to the end of the counter.

“Have you seen her?” Victoria whispered, “She's just your type,” she said sarcastically. She knew her brother was not over Aaron, but she also was worried that Aaron wouldn't take him back.

Robert just glared at her and said nothing. He wasn't even going to justify her comment with a response.

The red head, having heard Victoria despite her whispering, put down her drink and turned toward their conversation, “Um, I'll remember that for when I stop being gay.”

“Huh?” Robert said, turning his attention toward her. The echo of Aaron's similar response rung in his ears.

“She said I was your type... but you're definitely not mine. I'm like pretty gay,” she clarified.

“Well, good, because you're not actually my type either,” Robert said. He held up hand showing her his wedding band. “I'm married. To a guy. And we might not be together right now, but I fully intend to be back together with him soon.”

“Ah, so you're gay too? That's so cool, my brother's also gay. We just moved here this afternoon,” she said, moving herself down the bar to sit closer to Robert.

“He's actually bisexual,” Victoria piped in, which Robert glared at her for once again, before she disappeared back to the kitchen.

“You moved here?” Robert asked.

She nodded, pointing behind her at her suitcase. “Yeah, my brother's renting a flat at The Mill. I'm supposed to be meeting him there, but I wanted to get a drink first.” She picked up her glass and finished the rest of her drink before standing up.

Robert was suddenly flushed with a whirlwind of thoughts. “So, wait, your brother—your gay brother—is moving into The Mill?”

She nodded again, “I'm going to go meet him now. I'm staying with him for a couple of weeks.”

“Your gay brother?” Robert repeated.

The girl just stared at him looking really confused. “Yes?” she said slowly.

“Your brother is moving into the Mill... that's my husband's house,” Robert said, processing.

She smiled, “That's cool. I'll see you around then,” she said, and headed toward the door. “Nice to meet you.” And then she was gone, probably weirded out by the now clouded Robert, but also probably just to go meet her brother.

Robert shook his head, it didn't matter that someone else was gay in the village... Finn was gay... and he and Aaron had only gotten together once... That didn't bother Robert... not at all.

 


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is not exactly Robron. But there's a bit. And it's more an intertwined storyline. I promise they will return soon. There's definitely Robert though! (And he's made a friend...)

The lengthy ginger came waltzing over to Robert a few days later. He was walking out of David's, trying to bee-line to work, and not look up at the Mill. He was afraid he might accidentally see the new tenant and Aaron getting it on in the front yard and he wasn't sure he could take that yet, or ever.

“Hey, you,” she said, joining in his stride, “I never got your name." She was wearing tight blue jeans, and an olive flow-y button up top.

“Robert,” he mumbled, sneaking a look behind her despite having said he wouldn't a moment before. He was pleasantly surprised to see no sign of anyone. The front yard looked the same as he had left it, and despite there being a new car in his parking spot he found himself able to handle it.

“Michelle. Nice to meet you,” she said with a smile. Robert just nodded. “What are you doing?” she asked him as they walked together down the main road.

“Going to work,” Robert said, holding up his brief case.

“Aaron's not there,” Michelle said, as if she could tell what he was thinking. Which was that he was only going into work today in hopes that Aaron would have to share the porta cabin with him. The idea of sitting near Jimmy made him normally uncomfortable, but he bared it to work with Aaron.

Robert stopped in his tracks, “He's not?” Michelle shook her head, and said, “He and Adam went on a callout this morning, early.”

“How do you know that, are you guys all like friends now?”

“Adam invited us over last night, we were all hanging out...” she said with a shrug. She noticed Robert's figure drop with slight disappointment. She was sorry to say, but Robert was quite easy to read. She had heard a few choice things from Adam and Aaron the night previous, more from Adam than Aaron. It was clear that he still cared for Robert, he had cringed any time Adam had slagged him off. She understood why they weren't together right now, but as a third party perspective she still shipped them.

“Why don't you come help me on my endeavour today, instead of work?” she suggested, watching him as his mind wandered. “You're in need of some serious Aaron distraction,” she says taking Robert by the arm and leading him in the direction of the garage. Though it wasn't far, Robert didn't question on the detour. He could honestly just work from home, and would rather than run into Nicola anytime soon.

“Why are we going to the garage?”

“Two reasons,” Michelle started. She stopped them across the road from the garage, close enough to look, but not close enough yet to be quite seen by the workers there. “One, my car had to be taken in, and two, I need you to tell me everything about her.” Michelle pointed toward a blonde with particularly long hair, and a wrench, looking like she was about ready to go at a car with it.

“Debbie?” Robert asked, looking at Michelle with great confusion.

“Yes,” she said confidently. “You know her?”

“Well you could say that,” he said. They definitely had history. “I dated her once, a long time ago. But she's also Aaron's cousin.”

“She's Aaron's cousin?!” Michelle asked, flabbergasted. “What's she like, I want to know everything about her!” she said, excitedly.

Robert scrunched his face. For a moment he regretted his decision to pick this over Jimmy. “Why don't you just go ask her,” he said, not really wanting to get into it. This was more Vic's area of expertise.

“Come on, Robert,” she said, looking longingly over at Debbie in her overalls, and her messy bun. “She's just so beautiful, and incredible.”

“Have you even spoken to her? She's nuts, just like the rest of the Dingles. Her father's Cain, and her mother's Charity. Which means she a mixture of crazy and more crazy.”

“She's probably not even interested. Like that, you know?”

“Like wut?” Robert said, not caring enough to clue in. “Oh, like that. Yeah, she dated Ashley's niece or something once.”

Michelle lit up, she grabbed her chest and pretended to fall. Robert stood to the side watching the dramatics with a rather confused expression. He really couldn't have cared less at this point. Since this conversation didn't revolve around Aaron he had half tuned out anyway. “Just go talk to her or something,” he said, sauntering off. “I'm going to work. This is ridiculous.”

“Robert, I will help you get back together with Aaron, and you will help me get with Debbie, and then we will be one big happy family,” Michelle called after him as he walked away back to his sister's house. (Which had recently evacuated Rebecca as she moved back to Home Farm, leaving room for Robert).

Michelle debated running after him, but instead she fluffed up her hair and crossed the road toward the garage.

“Hiya,” she said, leaning against the side of the car. She kept moving her hands and awkwardly switching her position before Debbie looked up from the engine, to which she found Michelle mid-position switch and she had to quickly just pick a stance where her one hand was on the car and the other was above her head, pretending to scratch the back of her head. Not exactly the most graceful. Meanwhile Debbie looked flawless despite having her head in engines all morning fixing this particular car.

“What's wrong with this one?” she asked, attempting to be casual.

“Just a bunch of car stuff, it's boring. What's up?” Debbie asked, wiping her hands off on a spare rag.

“No, I like cars. You can talk cars to me,” Michelle said, just wanting her to keep talking.

“You like cars?” Debbie asked, questioning her.

“Did I stutter?” Michelle asked, starting to feel a bit defensive. “Yeah I used to work in a garage a while ago, I know cars.”

Debbie raised her perfect eyebrows. She looked a bit impressed. “Well, your fuel filter's broken, I need to get the part for it. It'll be another day.”

Michelle shrugged. “I can wait. I can even give yous a hand if you want?”

“Ta, you're alright. I've got this mostly finished, just need to change the oil,” Debbie said, with a shrug.

“Well, you deserve a pint then, eh?” Michelle said, with hope.

Debbie shook her head, “I'm alright.”

Michelle was disappointed. She knew Debbie had kids she had to get back to at some point, but she hoped that some point wasn't quite yet. “Ah, come on. Just one pint?” She leaned over the frame of the car, probably getting too close to Debbie. But it was worth a shot.

Debbie didn't seem to notice, she looked down at the car, and looked down at herself, and then looked up at Michelle. Michelle who was standing there looking so casual but amazing. Michelle who didn't have the drama and baggage Ross had. Michelle who could be a mate, a new friend, or who knows what else. But it was only a pint.

Debbie nodded. “Okay, a pint. But give me like twenty minutes to finish this and change out of these overalls,” she said with a smile.

Michelle nodded and began to walk away. At the end of the drive way she couldn't help but to look back at the beautiful hard working woman. Out of her eye Debbie saw Michelle look back, and she watched her walk away, and she was still unsure of this new development, she wasn't one to play with the heart, but  she found herself to be a little bit excited to finish.

 


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is such slow goings. I work too much unfortunately. 
> 
> Also it's a tad terrible. I'm sorry. I thought I had so many ideas for this story, but it's really just becoming a slow mess.

Aaron knocked on the new guy's door. He and his sister had been living there for a couple of weeks now. Adam had invited them over their first night, but Aaron hadn't wanted to bother them much since then.

He had actually wanted to go talk to him several times now, and would often see him and his sister leaving the house together and would chicken out. Aaron found this new guy slightly attractive. But he wasn't sure if he was ready for anything after Robert. Also, he wasn't sure how appropriate it was to hit on his tenant, even if they had gotten on pretty well when they hung out that last time. Aaron was fairly certain he had been hitting on him, though Aaron also wasn't used to someone who was so comfortable in their sexuality like this new guy was. He hadn't really had that since Jackson (Ed wasn't uncomfortable with it or anything, but because of the ruby they didn't really talk about it a lot). So he wasn't sure if he was flirting or just flamboyant, considering it looked like he was flirting with Adam a couple of times also (which Adam loved of course).

The guy, Harry, answered the door still pulling on his shirt. Aaron turned his head and scratched the back of his neck to pretend he didn't notice the particularly good torso Harry had. While Harry pretended he didn't notice Aaron noticing.

“Hey, I'm just on my way out, but I wanted to just see... how you were...here,” Aaron asked, feeling particularly awkward. He didn't really care how he was doing. He just knew that if he had sent over Liv like she wanted to she would just try to convince them to move out so that she and Gabby could have the spare flat again.

“I'm good, it's good,” Harry said. “Everyone here is really friendly. It's nice. And the flat's great.” He stood with his hands on his hips, standing a few inches taller than Aaron, nodding along with his words.

Aaron nodded along with him, and coughed to clear his throat, “Uh, good. I'm glad. Let me know if you need anything I guess.” He turned to leave, feeling like an incredible nuisance and wishing he had brought like a fruit basket or something stupid like that last week, as a welcome present. Paddy would have done something like that.

“Aaron--” Harry said, calling him back. Aaron turned his head back around, raising his eyebrows at the sound of his name. Harry paused for a minute, as if to say something, but instead muttered, “...Thanks.” Aaron just nodded in response, he wasn't quite sure how to react.

He turned to leave again, but stopped himself. “Do you, uh, maybe want to--” he cleared his throat. “--um, I'm going to the pub later tonight if you want to join?”

“I'd love to,” he said with a smile. “I've got some stuff on today, so a break will be nice. I'll see you then.”

Aaron nodded and then walked away as Harry closed the door.

 

Aaron avoided Robert's gaze as he entered the pub, bee-lining himself toward Adam, who had seated himself near the dart board.

“What's up with you,” Adam asked as Aaron meticulously adjusted his shirt, making sure it was smooth.

“Nothing,” Aaron responded with a shrug. “Harry's joining us,” he added, noticing the two pints sitting in front of him.

“He is? Nice one, mate!” Adam said, clapping Aaron on the back. “You better go get him in one then.”

“It's nothing,” Aaron shrugged, confused why Adam was making a big deal about it. “He's just coming to be a mate.”

Adam laughed. “You're joking me, right?...You're not joking,” he laughed again at Aaron's vacant expression. Clearly Aaron had had a hinting that he liked him, but it was nice to have a confirmation from an outside perspective. “That guy likes you. He stared at you all night when we hung out.”

“That was like two weeks ago,” Aaron said, nursing his drink.

Adam shrugged, unconcerned. “So what, maybe he was busy. He just moved and he's got work. I'm sure he didn't want to intrude. You are his landlord after-all,” Adam said before he downed half his pint.

Before they knew it Harry was waltzing into the pub, and heading over to sit with them. “Good evening,” he said, before hesitantly adding. “Adam, it's so good to see you here.” Adam was a little confused, but he pushed a pint in Harry's direction. There were quite a few sitting on the table at that point. Adam and Aaron had both finished off one, half way through another, and had a back up ready for them. “Looks like I'm a tad behind,” he noted, picking up his pint and drinking it quickly.

Aaron felt a rise in his anxiety. Robert was still sitting at the bar, drinking with Michelle, and chatting with Vic. He could see Robert look over at the occasionally, and even though he didn't want to, he himself kept looking over too. Robert was sat right behind Harry's head in Aaron's line of vision, it was really hard not to pay attention to him.

“Excuse me,” Aaron mumbled, slipping out of the booth and heading toward the bogs.

 

He didn't actually have to go to the washroom, he just wanted to get out of that space. He wanted to empty his pocket. He had been carrying around Robert's watch for the past couple of weeks now, often in his sweater or jacket pocket. Sometimes he even attached it to his belt loop, but he stopped that after a bit because he was worried Robert would see it. He had come looking for it after he had moved out the second time, but Aaron had lied to him and said he hadn't seen it. A part of him wanted to mess with Robert, and a part of him just wanted to keep it.

Adam came in not long after him, nearly giving him a heart attack as he tried to hide it, thinking it was probably Robert.

“What are you doing?”

“What do you think I'm doing,” Aaron said, extending his arms out to the obvious loo.

“Well, you've been in here forever, I was thinking you had fallen in,” Adam answered back.

“I'm fine,” Aaron said, taking a step toward the door. Adam put his arm up and stopped him. “What's that,” he asked, noticing the watchband sticking out of Aaron's pocket.

Aaron groaned at Adam's nosy-ness. “It's just a watch,” Aaron said, shoving it deeper in his pocket.

“Man, Aaron. That's not Robert's watch is it? The one he came looking for?” Adam sighed. Aaron didn't respond. He just shoved the stupid thing back in his pocket. “Come on, man, you've got a very attractive man sitting out there having a drink with you... and Harry too!” he said with a laugh. Aaron smirked at his stupid joke.

“I know,” Aaron groaned. “It's just, he's sitting right there. And...I dunno.”

“Well, what's going on with you two, is it definitely over?” Adam asked, with a tang in his own chest. If Aaron and Robert could get back together, then maybe Victoria could forgive him too...

Aaron shook his head. “It has to be,” he sighed.

“What are we doing in here then?” Adam said with a quick response. He swung his arm around his best friend and dragged him back out to the pub, where an anxious Harry was waiting, and an annoyed Robert had disappeared from.

Aaron sat back down, and finished off his drink. He looked up at Harry and smiled at him. The other man smiled back at him, and he allowed himself to relax.

 

The rest of the night went well, it was full of darts, and laughs. They hung out until almost closing time. Michelle came to join them for a little bit, after her weekly dose of stalking Debbie had finished. (Michelle: it's not exactly stalking... I just like to watch her work. And besides, my car keeps breaking down, I need her help! Harry: You're a mechanic, you could fix it yourself! Michelle: No one asked you!) Others came to join also for a bit, Charity for a while, and Paddy too. Though he gave up once Aaron had beaten him at five rounds of darts. He decided to “call it a night” before Aaron had any more chances to beat him.

But last call it was back to the three guys again, sat around their same table. “Cheers boys, I think I'll call it a night,” Adam announced, putting down his empty glass. “I'll see you tomorrow, Aaron,” he added before getting up and walking out the back door.

“See ya,” Aaron responded before getting up himself. “Come on, I'll walk ya home,” he said to Harry.

“Makes sense, you're going the same way,” Harry said with a laugh. Aaron awkwardly half smiled, regretting making such a stupid statement, “Yeah...right...”

When they got to the front door, they stopped before heading off to their separate flats. “That was fun,” Aaron stated, before turning away.

“You know...” Harry said, stopping him. “When you invited me out tonight, I didn't realize Adam would be there.”

Aaron furrowed his eyebrows, he thought that people knew they were attached at the hip. He had done nothing except hang out with Adam the past month. “Why wouldn't he?”

“I just thought... I don't know, never mind.”

Aaron then clued in. He wanted to smile to himself, he had been right. “Oh, you thought I was asking you out... asking you out. Not just like a night out.” Harry nodded sheepishly. “Sorry, I should have been more clear.”

There was a silence.

“Did you not want to go out with me?”

Aaron opened his mouth to explain himself, and then back tracked. “I mean, yes. I do. Yeah.”

Harry nodded. “Okay, good.”

There was a silence again. Aaron couldn't believe, after all he'd gone through with his last relationship... or any of his relationships, that this was suddenly so... easy. There wasn't any GHB involved, no rugby guy confusion, no affair, no murder. He was just stood here, in a doorway, with a guy that liked him.

“Okay, good night,” Harry said, and turned to his door. Aaron just watched him go, amazed that that was it. Simple.

 


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't sleep so I wrote some more today. I feel like Robert is trying to hard to hold on right now, and just throw himself into this sabotage plan he has, when he really just needs to break down and have someone understand him. And Aaron's right, that can't be him right now, but no one else is paying attention to him. So I thought they could just be there for each other anyway even just for a moment.

The day after Robert saw Aaron with Harry in the pub he could just tell something was different between them. He started seeing them around town more. And whenever he saw Aaron now, he always looked away as if he felt guilty about something.

Not that he had to, Robert was a big boy, and they weren't together any more. And though it shouldn't bother him, it was his own fault they were apart, it still hurt. He could feel it deep in his chest, any time he was alone he would just sit down and it would wash over him that Aaron was moving on, Aaron was over him. And nothing felt worse, not even getting shot.

He had stopped sleeping, ever since he had moved back into Vic's empty room he had slowly been able to sleep less and less, and now he would just sit in bed every night just playing over the past two years. Everything about their relationship had been so unhealthy, and wrong, but there was something about it that was just so right. No one got him like Aaron did, and no one else made him want to be a better person.

 

Instead he began just throwing himself into his work. He was going to go recklessly and push himself past this pain. He knew Rebecca would just accept anything he said, so when she needed help, he let Victoria convince him to go work at Home Farm. It felt good being back and running the place like he had before, convincing people to spend money on farming, and talking them out of the White's mess ups... it was what he did. Home James was a good investment, but it didn't hold the same power. The only good part of working there was being close to Aaron, and being able to tell off Nicola. It was actually ridiculous that there was no where in this town that he couldn't run away from any of his ex's... but there was always one he wanted in particular.

 

After a long day of sabotaging Lawrence, Robert sat at the bar, leaning forward and resting his chin in his hands. He was nursing another drink. He couldn't believe that this was how he was living his life...sitting alone at a bar. Being alone was his worse fear. He remembered sitting in the back telling Aaron this as he pitied himself. Aaron of course never pitied him.

His eyes looked sunken him, and he could tell from Michelle's face when she walked in that he didn't look good. “Are you sleeping okay?” she asked, standing in the empty void beside him.

He opened his mouth to speak, but Victoria stuck in her big nose to answer for him, “No, he hasn't been sleeping at all.”

“Yes, I have!” he argued.

“Oh, you're right sorry... I forgot to count when you fell asleep in the middle of your coffee at Bob's this morning.

“I wasn't sleeping! I was just... resting my eyes.”

“Robert, what's wrong? I don't mean to be rude, but man you look back,” Michelle said, nudging his elbow.

Robert sat himself up straight, feeling them both close in on him. He wanted to get up and walk away, but he was worried they would follow him and he really didn't want the conversation to spread with the attention they would get. “I'm fine,” he insisted.

“He hasn't been sleeping for a few days a least, and before that he only feel asleep after drinking too much,” Vic spoke for him again.

“I'm sorry, in this an intervention, what is going on? Why are you watching me sleep—or not sleep.”

“I'm just worried about you. You're my brother and I care about you,” Victoria said, rubbing his forearm.

“Yeah, now that Andy's gone,” he muttered to himself.

“I'm fine, honestly,” Robert insisted harshly.

They both seemed to drop it, and they changed the topic to Michelle. She had walked in covered in grease. “Either you've pulled Debbie, or you've not showered today...” Victoria guessed, eyeing up Michelle's dirty complexion.

Michelle glared at her, while Victoria laughed at her own joke. “Close, she let me come work with her today, Dan was off sick today, and she needed someone... and she agreed to come have a drink with me again. Her dad has Jack and Sarah for the night so she said she'd meet me here soon,” she announced with a big grin on her face.

“I thought she was with Ross again?” Robert wondered out loud, interrupting Michelle's giddy laughter.

“What?” Victoria asked, disbelievingly. “Where did you hear that. And since when do you pay attention to gossip?”

Robert shrugged. “I saw them in Bob's sitting together this morning having a coffee.”

Michelle hit his arm, “You're not helping!” And immediately her cheery mood dropped.

Robert stood up out of his seat, finally finding a window for him to disappear. “Fine, I'm just going to go home, see if I can get some kip,” he announced, knowing they'd let him go without an argument if he had a sleep related reason to run... not that he didn't love the current conversation or anything.

 

Getting any kip was actually completely out of the question. He didn't feel even the slightest bit tired, he hadn't for days. He had given up drinking himself to sleep like Vic had said because it stopped working, and he just felt sick for work the next day.

But he thought he would give it another shop. He walked over to David's and picked up a bottle of wine. He really didn't care about brand or price, he just picked one up, threw some money on the counter at Tracey, and walked out without a word. She barely looked up from her book, waving at him as he walked out the door.

He walked over to the playground and sat down on a swing and pulled off the top of the bottle, sipping it as he swung. He and Aaron had never really come here, and it only reminded him of the future when his kid would come play here with other kids in the village, in a similar way he had. He had tried so hard to get away from this place, and all the mistakes he had made here, and yet he was pulled back here. Pulled back by Aaron none-the-less. If it hadn't been for him Edna wouldn't have found Lawrence, and Lawrence wouldn't have bought Home Farm, and he would have never found Aaron... he would have never made the best mistake he ever made.

Aaron was everything he fought against. He was everything his father would have hated. And yet he was the one thing that mattered so much.

He drank more, drinking and drinking and drinking as he swung. Until he fell right off. The bottle spilling out beside him as he laid on the ground staring up at the darkening sky. He could just lie there forever and still his life would be as empty as it was as he walked around the village as a shadow of the man he once was. Less than a month ago he had everything. Six months ago he had actual perfection in his hands, and he screwed it all up just like he did everything else.

He actually wished Andy was here just to hear his brother laugh in his face, and tell him how much of a disappointment his dad would have thought he was.

At the thought of his dad he sat up, and stumbled across the village toward the graveyard. He hadn't gone to visit his father in too long. More often he came to visit his mother's grave, but now he didn't dare, worried that she would have been disappointed in him too. His father's stare he had been used to, but his mother would have broken his heart if she was here to see the wreck he had become.

He sat in front of their graves and just sipped what was left of the bottle.

 

“Robert?” he heard a voice coming up behind him. He had had too much to drink at that point, but he could still recognize the distinct voice of Aaron Dingle. He was speaking softly, probably worried he was disturbing him.

“Hey,” he said quietly as Aaron came to sit down next to him. “What are you doing here?”

Aaron looked over his shoulder across the grave stones. “I just came to see Jackson. I've just been thinking about him lately,” he said, looking down at his hands. He began to play with his hands nervously. “I don't know why, just haven't been to see him in a while I guess.”

“You okay?” Robert asked soberly, looking over at the beautiful man beside him. He could see that he had been affected by the visit.

“I'm fine,” Aaron answered nodding his head. Robert knew this wasn't true, but he wasn't going to press it, so he just nodded with him too.

Aaron looked down at the empty bottle in Robert's hand, and asked him the same question, “You okay?” He looked up at Robert, see the bags under his eyes, and his chilled broken expression, already knowing the answer.

Robert lied the same way he had, “I'm fine,” he answered back. And they both nodded again.

Unable to admit anything to each other they just both sat in a mutual silence, both aware that neither of them wanted to talk. But it was still nice sitting in each other's silence, and just staring at Jack's grave.

 


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You know when you're just in the mood to write... 
> 
> Also, does anyone even like this B-line story? I don't know Debbie's character as well as Aaron and Rob, so if anyone hates it let me know. I just wanted Robert to have a friend haha. 
> 
> Also I wrote this on my phone, so if this isn't formatted correctly I'll check it later when I'm home. Sorry!

"Hey, I thought you might need this," Michelle said walking up to the garage. She set it on the bench beside the office.

Debbie looked up from her stack of papers and smiled at her. "Ta."

"What do you guys call it over here, a brew?" Debbie nodded in response. "We just call it a coffee."

"Coffee worked too," Debbie said distracted. "Most things are pretty similar."

"Oh I wouldn't say so. I told Robert I wasn't wearing any pants when he came over the other day, and he nearly looked like he was going to have a heart attack," Michelle told her with a laugh.

"I mean, even if you'd said trousers he probably would have had the same response," Debbie added.

Michelle shrugged. "I rarely have my pants on when he comes over anyway... trousers I mean, not knickers."

Debbie looked up over her clipboard, trying to hide her disappointed expression. "Oh, so you and Robert... you know?" She asked curiously. "I knew Aaron was trying to get over him, but I didn't know Robert had that quickly too..."

"Oh. No. Robert and I? No, never," Michelle said quickly, backtracking. "He's not my type, I mean. I'm like fully gay," she clarified.

Debbie nodded without saying anything. She turned and walked back into her office and started putting stuff on a shelf so that could smile to herself without Michelle seeing.

"So... the other night, when we had drinks... did you want to repeat that anytime soon? Maybe with food too this time?" Michelle asked, thrown off by Debbie's seeming disinterest as she turned away.

Debbie looked over her shoulder, looking over at Michelle. She was beautiful, so beautiful standing there in her ripped jean shorts, loose mustard coloured vest, and too many necklaces. She was eccentric, and they had a good time when they hung out. Both times they had had drinks Debbie found herself relaxing, which she didn't often do with guys she liked, it was hard with the wall she put up around herself. Even now she wondered how good it would be to let this new stranger into their lives, even if she was really friendly and had a great smile.

"I, uh, have to watch over the kids this week. My dad's helping Chas out, and Moira's really busy at the farm," Debbie said.

"So, bring them. We'll have dinner out together," Michelle suggested.

"I don't know if they'd like that... and Sarah's not well lately, I don't know if she'd be up for that," Debbie said unsure.

"You think they wouldn't like a night out? What kid doesn't like going out for dinner?" Michelle asked giving her a weird look.

"I'll give it a think," she said, waveringly.

Michelle nodded.

"Are you doing anything? Wanna help me with that car over there?" Michelle smiled and walked over to get a pair of overalls.

They didn't talk much the rest of the day, Michelle stayed by her car, and Debbie stayed by hers. But that didn't stop Michelle checking Debbie out in the rear view mirrors from time to time.

  
A few hours later Debbie took a break and headed to the pub to check on Charity and Sarah. "mum? Where's Sarah?" She asked, walking into the back room finding her mom and Chas sitting around the table laughing about something.

"She's out the front with Marlon."

"You let her out in the bar again? Yes you know minors aren't actually supposed to serve alcohol, right?" Debbie scolded.

"Chill, she's just giving out orange juices," Charity shot back.

Debbie went out through the front, walking over to Sarah by the till. Marlon looked his usual annoyed self as Sarah kept hitting all the buttons and messing up some of the receipts. Debbie quickly surveyed the area seeing Robert in one corner and Ross in another, as far away from each other as possible. And Jai and Priya somewhere in the middle.

"Sarah, what are you doing up here, you shouldn't be playing with alcohol," Debbie said putting her hands on her shoulders and guiding her away from behind the bar.

"Chill mom, I don't touch anything."

"You've been hanging out with your grandmother too much," Debbie said, noting their similar tone and vocabulary. "Go hang out with your uncle or Ross."

"My uncle? When has Robert ever liked children," Sarah asked eyeing the look her uncle gave when he heard his name. "Ross is nice, but I'd rather go hang out with Michelle though," she said, as Michelle walked through the door, smiling at both of them.

"Michelle?" Debbie wondered, watching as she flew from the front doors and sliding into the booth across from Robert.

"Yeah she's cool!" Sarah said waving at her.

"You like her?"

Sarah shrugged, I've only talked to her a couple of times, while hanging out here with granny Faith and Charity. But she's dead nice, and she gives me tips on boys!" Debbie laughed before Sarah ran off to go sit down with the two of them. Robert willingly moved over, and muttered something about being able to stand Liv so Sarah wasn't that bad, which made both of them laugh.

She had left the garage soon before Debbie had, and she must have gone home to clean up. She was wearing a similar outfit, except the dirt was gone, and she had showered and cleaned herself up a bit. She looked nice, not that she hadn't all day.

Michelle looked up at her, giving her an I-told-you-so-look because she had been right about Sarah liking to go out. Her kids were really important to Debbie of course, and they were her biggest hesitation. Sarah was pretty quick to trust people... she had trusted granny Faith even though she'd found her hiding in Butler's barn... but maybe this time she was right about Michelle, and they could all get on.

 


	7. Chapter Seven

Aaron walked into Bob's, bumping into Victoria on her way out. "Hey you, I heard that you've got a new man," she questioned, stopping in the middle of the door, and then followed Aaron back as he walked up to the counter, waiting for bob to come back to the til. Aaron looked at her with a confused expression.

"Who told you that?"

"I don't know, I heard it around the village," she said casually, "and Adam might have mentioned it."

Aaron nodded to himself, not saying anything. Victoria stared at him as he just nodded. "Aaron??"

"Wut?" he said.

"This guy! What's happening with him?"

"Nothing, I don't know."

"You like him, don't you?" Aaron scratched his eyebrow, really wishing Bob would hurry up.

"Yeah, he's alright, but..."

"But...?" Victoria asked, pushing.

Aaron audibly sighed. He really had just wanted a quiet coffee before he had to go to work where Adam would spend several hours complaining about how he wants to be back together with Vic. He didn't really want to have to admit that inside, deep inside, he was starting to feel the same way. He shook his head, "you know, I'm just going to make a brew at the scrapyard," he decided walking toward the door.

"Aaron," Vic called, stopping him. "Robert--"

Aaron stopped and stared at her, and shook his head. "Vic, I can't help him. We're not... right for each other. Not right now."

She nodded, accepting his choice. "Just... keep an eye on him, okay? He puts up a front that he's okay, but he's not as alright as he says." She nodded again, and he walked out of the shop, and down the road to the scrapyard.

He shoved his hands in his pockets, and ignored his mum who was shouting to get his attention, as he walked alone, not wanting to talk to anyone.

 

Later that afternoon Harry knocked on the Mill's door, and when Aaron came to the door and Harry held up a movie and a pack of tinnies. "Netflix and chill?"

He looked at the movie in Harry's hand and just immediately thought: that's Robert's favourite film. But he shoved that thought out of his mind, to Harry it was just another movie. That was how he had to start thinking, it wasn't Robert's film, it was a film. Any ol' film.

"I have no idea what that is, but come on in," Aaron said, swinging the door open, and walking over to the couch and reaching over to the remote.

"How was your day?" Harry asked, popping out the disk and putting it in the Blu ray player.

Aaron shrugged and got up, walking over to the fridge and pulling out two beers, shoving Harry's in to cool. "It was fine, I guess."

"Just fine?" Harry asked. Aaron shrugged again. "Man of few words," Harry noted out loud.

"Yeah, I don't... I dunno, whatever," Aaron said, not sure how to describe that he didn't talk much... which was essentially his problem.

"I had a good day actually. Michelle and I went on a walk around the village, got to know a few people. Get to know the area, now that we're here we thought we'd get to know the small town life, you know?"

Aaron shrugged, "I guess. I've always lived here. It's just a bunch of cheating and drama."

"And sheep," Harry added. Aaron nodded.

He sat down and handed one of the beers to Harry, who sat down next to him. "We hung out with Robert for bit too, Michelle seems to really like him."

Aaron froze, his heart jumping a beat. He knew that he had gotten on with someone a little fast, but he couldn't believe that Robert did too... after all he had said, and how much he had been trying to fix things... He pushed the jealousy feeling down, not letting Harry notice. "Well, he can like whoever he wants to like now. If he and Michelle--"

"Oh, not like that, Harry corrected. "She likes Debbie, remember?"

"Oh right," Aaron said, shaking his head. A slight weight lifted off him. He wanted to believe he was over this, but he genuinely thought he was going to have to endure seeing him with someone else and it hurt a bit. “Well, Robert is... I'm glad he has a friend,” Aaron shrugged. “Should we get a take away?”

“Are you over him?” Harry asked bluntly. “I don't know what this--” he said pointing between himself and Aaron, “--is, but I know you were married or whatever, and I don't want to get in the way of something.”

Aaron put his hands on his hips and just stared at Harry. “I can't do this right now,” Aaron said and ran out the front door.

He wished he was wearing something other than jeans and a hoodie, which isn't that easy to go for a run in. He went for a job instead, not really sure where he was going, but just wanting to clear his head.

Today had just been an overwhelming amount of questions and mentions of Robert—someone he was trying to take space from him, he was trying to get away from him. And yet all he's been able to do is run into and think about Robert lately.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and scrolled down the contacts, finding Robert's number almost immediately, considering the amount of times he had used it. His thumb hovered over Robert's number, wanting to call or text him.

 

Across the village Robert was sitting in the pub with his thumb hovering over Aaron's number. After seeing Aaron at the graveyard Robert couldn't help but hope that maybe something was going to change. They were there for each other, Robert wanted to be there for Aaron, and he wanted Aaron back to have someone stand by him again.

“You know, when you moved out of the pub I thought I would see you less,” Charity commented, coming over and standing in front of him.

Robert looked around the empty bar, seeing only himself and Marlon who was cleaning some tables. “Maybe you should be a little nicer to your only customer...” he pointed out.

“Maybe you shouldn't have cheated on our Aaron,” she shot back, walking away.

The door swung open, and Aaron came walking in, covered in sweat from his job. He unzipped his hoodie, and wiped off his forehead as he walked over to stand by Robert.

“What are you doing?” Robert asked, looking Aaron up and down.

Aaron shook his head, still trying to catch his breath. “Robert, no, I'm fine,” he said, settling himself. “I just wanted to, I'm fine,” he repeated, even though it wasn't fully true. “Just keeping fit.”

Robert nodded quietly, biting his tongue with his concerns, and instead handing Aaron a drink.

“Are you always here? You've been drinking a lot,” Aaron noted, while he drank Robert's drink.

Robert opened his mouth to say something, and instead changed the subject, “I was just about to call you,” he said, not sure how he was going to word this.

“Oh yeah? I was about to too,” Aaron said.

Robert sat up, widening his eyes, he was excited to hear that. If Aaron noticed Robert perk up he ignored it. “I wanted to tell you about Harry,” he said, sitting down.

“Michelle's brother?” Robert asked.

“Yeah, he asked me for a drink... and a movie. Netflix and chill, or something, whatever that is. I don't understand half of what he says. Probably an American thing,” Aaron said, muttering to himself more than to Robert. “I just wanted to tell you, I guess.”

“You wanted to tell me you're going to Netflix and Chill with Harry...?” Robert asked, trying to figure out what Aaron just said because it hit him fast. He had heard Michelle talking about them hanging out, and he had seen them in the pub the other day, but he had hoped, really hoped it was nothing.

Aaron paused for a minute to think about what he was saying. Moments ago on his run he was going to come in here and try again with Robert, and yet he walked in here feeling so weak and broken just at the sight of him, thinking about all he had done, and the thought of a son sitting beside Robert soon.

“Yeah,” he said after a breath. “I just wanted you to know before someone else told you.”

“Aaron--” Robert said, his heart fallen on the floor. “--I thought, after the other day, maybe... we're better when we're together,” Robert began, and he could see Aaron ready to shake his head at him. “I need you.”

“Robert... we aren't good for each other anymore,” he said and then stood up. “I've got to go. Are you going to be okay?”

Robert nodded, looking away. He didn't want to watch as Aaron walked away back to his new life.

“Charity!” he called to the other Dingle. She popped her head out from behind the back, pretending she hadn't been standing in the kitchen listening in with Marlon.

“You know, if you begged just a bit more, I think he was going to crack... because you know Aaron is very susceptible to begging,” Charity said sarcastically.

Robert just stared at her, hoping her head would just explode already so that he didn't have to keep dealing with her stupid. “Can you just get me another drink... and keep it coming,” he asked, pushing his glass toward her, so he could spend another night drinking himself to sleep.

 

“Rob, you know I don't like you, but would you like to come sleep on the couch,” Chas offered at closing, being unnaturally kind to him. “Or shall I call Victoria?” he had gotten to a point where he could barely bother to lift his head, and just wanted to fall into oblivion.

Robert sat up, a bit surprised by her offer. She was staring at him, and he could just see the pity in her expression. “Your son doesn't love me anymore,” he said, not giving a response.

“Love, I've spent most of my time hating you, and I can admit this past year you were really good for him; but things have changed, and I think you're a turd again... but I still don't like to see you hurt. You've got to just step back for a bit, and just let him be himself for a while. And if that takes being with someone else.” Robert focused on breathing in and out, which had become a difficulty at the moment as he took in Chas' words. He felt like he was just going in a round of people telling him to walk away, give up, let Aaron move on. And he knew that was right, he knew they were all right. But he was never going to get over him. Aaron was the only one that knew him.

“I'd never give up on him,” Robert said, moping and pushing his hair out of his face.

“I know, love,” Chas nodded. “Why don't you get some sleep. Do you want the couch?” He shook his head. “I'll just go home,” he said, getting up and stumbling out the door. Chas cleared up, concernedly watching him go.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I didn't know where I was going with this, and it just went around with things I've already said... so I apologize. But things will happen soon I hope. I just got a little lost for a bit, and wanted to emphasize their concerns.


	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case anyone's wondering, no I didn't edit this. Sorry, not sorry. 
> 
> I've been so busy again, my apologies. But I'm working on it. I'm not abandoning this. I don't think there's much more anyway. I was going to drag this out and make it really long, but I think instead they deserve some sort of reunion sooner than I thought (if only the show thought the same thing. *sigh*)

Michelle walked down the main street, wearing a ring braid, and boots with heels that made her feet hurt but made her half a foot taller, which she needed. She might have long legs, but not long enough when she wants to stand next to the beautifully tall Debbie Dingle.

Her heels clicked the gravelled road as she walked confidently, coffee in hand, as she sauntered past the garage, trying to catch Debbie's attention while she headed toward Victoria's place.

Debbie was quite distracted that morning, as Michelle walked by she was busy talking to Ross. She looked like they were talking about something intently, but Michelle didn't want to walk by without saying hello. She stopped at the end of the drive way and waved at Debbie, who turned and smiled at her briefly before turning back to her conversation. Ross looked over Debbie's shoulder at her, winking his eye, and blowing a kiss, before Debbie smacked him. To which Michelle laughed and moved on.

She couldn't believe she had convinced this beautiful, strong, amazing girl to like her. In all her days she hadn't imagined someone so great as Debbie would come swooping into her life. She didn't even have to go looking for her. One day in this town, and she just bumped into her. She always thought it was a saying, but when people say if you stop looking love will come find you, they really did mean it.

Michelle continued on her way, mentally writing on all her notebooks “Mrs. Michelle Dingle” like a little school girl, wishing she had time to hang out with Debbie today. She would just have to settle with a text, while she visited with Robert.

 

Victoria opened the door, a hand on her hip already. “Could you tell my annoying brother to get out of my house and do something today. He's just been sat up in his room for several days doing nothing,” she complained as Michelle walked in.

“Several days? You mean he hasn't gone to work? What has he been doing?” she asked, feeling concerned.

“Either drinking, or playing video games,” Victoria said with a shrug.

Michelle continued past her, up the stairs toward Robert's room. He was sat on the bed in his boxer shorts, smelling awful. There was a mixture of body odour and booze in the air. His room was full of dirty clothes and empty bottles. “Robert!” Michelle called out in outrage. He looked up at her with a blank expression on his face, her heart dropped. She walked over to him, taking the almost empty bottle from his hand, and picking up the empty cans at his feet. She went to the bathroom and poured his drink down the sink.

“Babe, what's wrong, why are you being like this?” she asked, coming back into the room, kneeling down in front of him, taking his hands in hers.

He looked down at her, barely seeing her. He was so drunk she almost wished he would pass out so he could sleep it off. “I've messed it all up, haven't i?” he said, tears crowning in the corner of his eyes. “He doesn't love me anymore.”

Michelle didn't know what to say, it hurt to see him like this. “Well, you're not going to win him back like this,” she told him, guiding his attention around his room. “You've got to get up, you've got to shower—you stink, man,” she told him. “And if you give him space, he will come back. He loves you, you know he does. Don't doubt him.”

“Is that why he started dating your brother, because he still loves me?” he shot back. He hung his head, it looked heavy for him, like it was an extra thing his neck didn't need.

Michelle sat back, letting him breathe. “I don't think it's a lasting relationship, if I'm honest. I'm on team Robert.”

“Chelle, I just want to be on my own,” he said abruptly, looking away.

“Robert--”

“Michelle, can you just go?”

“No! Robert you can't keep doing this, you need to do something!”

“Michelle!” he yelled. She nodded, getting the point. She stood up quietly, letting him hang his head again. Neither looked at the other as she left.

Outside the door she heard him get up from his bed and angrily thrash everything around his room. Knocking everything off his bedside table, and his desk. She wanted to turn back and help him clean it up, but she hesitated when she heard him begin to cry. There was nothing she could do to help really, she just needed to let him get it out.

 

Michelle walked into the pub on a mission, looking for a particular greased up man. Instead she found another one. She noticed Ross and Debbie looking very close in the corner of the pub again. She stopped mid-stride to stare at them. Ross was whispering in Debbie's ear, with his arm wrapped around her shoulders.

Debbie looked up and saw Michelle standing there, and wriggled quickly out of Ross's arms. She stood up and walked over to Michelle, who had seen more than she needed to.

“Michelle-- I--”

“You don't have to explain,” Michelle stopped her, trying to catch her breathe. “This just hasn't been my day, eh,” she said shaking her head.

“It's not what it looks like, Ross was just--” Debbie said, stopping mid-sentence to look back at Ross, who was watching both of them, with a smirk on his face.

“Ross was just what, Debbie?” Michelle asked, to an empty response. She shook her head. “You don't have to explain, you guys have history, I get it.”

Debbie reached for Michelle's arm. “I like you,” she said. “It's not what it looks like, I promise. Ross and I...”

“Were just talking?” she asked, pulling her arm away. “Whatever Debbie, I don't care. I'm busy, go away.”

“Michelle, don't be like this,” Debbie pleaded, standing in her way.

“I get it, I really do. You like me, but you love him. You really, honestly, don't have to explain, now excuse me but I need to go find your cousin.” She pushed past Debbie, trying really hard to hold herself back from crying and screaming. In that moment she really couldn't blame Robert for knocking over all his stuff. This hurt, a lot. But she was on a mission this was all the more reason to focus on Robert.

 

Michelle burst into the backroom unannounced. She wasn't exactly welcomed there, considering she wasn't actually related to anyone in the pub, and she and Aaron weren't bessies or anything. But her brother was dating Aaron, and her best friend is his ex-husband, so she felt at least a little bit justified to come sling one out at him.

“Hello, Toast boy, put down your delicious bakeries, and come help out your husband,” she said confidently, pretending that he didn't intimidate her at all, and that he couldn't kick her out with ease.

“You what?” he asked, turning his head away from the telly, the toast still in hand.”

“Robert has a problem, Aaron, and he really needs your help,” she clarified.

Aaron rolled his eyes and turned back away. “I can't help him, get Vic or something,” he told him.

“Aaron!” she exclaimed, walking over in front of him and turning off his television. “He may be a dick, but he was still your husband, and he is drowning himself in booze and won't get out of his sister's house. Can you please come talk some sense in him.”

“I don't owe him anything,” Aaron argued. “We were never even really married.”

Michelle stared at him, unwavering. She didn't want to move until he agreed to come help her, she honestly didn't know what else to do.

Aaron exhaled sharply, scratching his eyebrow. He got up and gestured for her to lead the way. “You stubborn just like him,” he muttered under his breath.

 

They walked together to Keeper's, matching stride. Neither speaking to the other, Michelle was still thinking about Debbie, wanting to go back and talk to her, but also completely furious. And Aaron was trying to figure out what the fuck Robert was doing. Sitting around the pub all the time, sitting in his sister's house... none of this was helping either of them. Aaron wanted to be concerned, he really did, but he also just hoped it was some kind of ruse so he could continue to be mad at him.

When they got to Keeper's they didn't even knock, Aaron just walked right in and waltzed up the stairs toward Robert's room, only briefly nodding to Vic, who opened her mouth to say something, but didn't get a chance before they had whizzed past her.

Upstairs Aaron stood frozen in Robert's empty room. Every inch of it was covered in stuff Robert had thrown around. He had broken stuff and knocked over all the furniture. Aaron stared at Michelle, his eyes wide and his breathing grew heavier. “What happened here?”

“I told him he needed to get out of bed, he kicked me out, and then he did this after I left,” Michelle said, picking stuff up off the floor.

Aaron went from annoyed to concerned. He looked around at all the empty bottles, picking one up and shoving it in Michelle's face, “How much has he had?”

“A lot,” Michelle told her, as if it wasn't obvious. “He's so stressed, Aaron. Everyone's telling him to get over you and just care about the baby—Vic, Diane. No one's listening to him. He doesn't know what to do,” he explained.

Aaron whipped a hand down his face. “I knew he was in trouble, he's always in the pub looking sad and pathetic, but this... I didn't know... where is he now?” he asked, stopping himself.

Michelle shrugged. Aaron pushed past her and ran back down the stairs to the kitchen where Victoria was making a coffee.

“Where is he?” Aaron asked, looking distressed.

Victoria furrowed her brows. “I don't know, that's what I was trying to say, he just left. I tried to stop him, but he was just muttering to himself like a mad man.”

“And you didn't go after him?!” Aaron asked, his voice raising absentmindedly.

“Aaron, he's been like this a lot lately. I can't really stop him. I don't know what to do anymore. I've told him to just get over it, but he's just too far gone right now, it's better for him to walk it off. He'll be back in an hour or two.”

“Vic! What is wrong with you. What if this was Andy? He almost drove himself off a cliff once, do you want Robert to do that? I asked you to watch over him, not push him too far,” Aaron said, going off on one, adding, “Stop with all the Rebecca stuff, okay? It's rubbish, and she's not worth it.” He shook his head and walked back out onto the road, his hands on his waist, Michelle in toe.

“Where do you think he's gone?” she asked him, as he twisted his head around looking for any sign of Robert.

“I don't know, but we have to find him,” he said, running off.

Michelle sighed, calling after him, “Aaron, I'm in heels!”

 


	9. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this changes points of view kind of abruptly.   
> Also, I feel like you should know this about me by now... but i totally didn't edit this. sorry, not sorry. 654

Robert sat alone, his body heavy and his movements sluggish. It had been getting harder and harder to pretend that everything was going to be okay. Waiting for Aaron was becoming a waste of time, and he no longer felt like a hopeful puppy following him around, and instead felt like a useless burden. Actually, he started to feel like a burden to everyone around him. Work felt pointless, he could sense that Victoria was getting bored of him. Rebecca expected too much from him, despite giving zero shits toward her situation. He was never going to love her, not when his heart felt like this.

He had been wandering around for what felt like hours, but he knew couldn't have been more than half an hour. He was just mindlessly feeling sorry for himself like he often did. He didn't know what to do, he wanted to be happy for Aaron, he really did. He seemed happier. But he didn't want him to be, he wanted to be the one to make him happy. He wanted his beautiful husband back.

 

Robert pulled out his phone, falling onto the hard ground. He wasn't even sure where he had ended up, he was just tired and ready to fall asleep. But first, he wanted Aaron to just know...

 

“Aaron—you look happier, you do. People keep telling me one day I feel that too, I'll smile and hide the truth... but I was happier with you,” he wrote, only with many more spelling mistakes. By the time Aaron received it he could barely read the message. It took him a few times to full realize what he was saying.

Michelle had fallen behind, going off in another direction to look. Aaron had just run off, hoping he could find him in any of the usual spots they would go. He tried the bridge, and the cricket pavilion. He had tried calling him over and over but his phone had gone dead. He was stood in the middle of the cemetery kicking at Jack's grave hoping maybe something would come out of it. He was getting desperate to find him.

“Hello? Robert?” he said, when his phone rang.

“No, it's Harry. Why were you looking for Robert,” he asked, on the other end of the line.

“I can't talk now,” Aaron said, frustrated. “I'll call you back later.” And promptly he hung up. He didn't even care if it sounded rude, or if he should have given his sort-of boyfriend an explanation, but after Robert's text he really couldn't deal with Harry right then.

“Have you found him?” Michelle asked, coming up behind him.

“Yes, that's why I'm sat here on my own,” Aaron said sarcastically. “Sorry.”

She shook her head. “I checked in with Diane, and Vic, neither have seen them yet.”

Aaron groaned loudly, “Where is he!” He couldn't breathe, his chest felt very heavy. He bent himself over, trying to calm himself down.

“We're going to find him,” Michelle said, rubbing his back.

“Are we? Are we, Michelle?” he said, sitting down. He shook his head. “What if he left, what if he's just gone? What if he's hurt. What if he's dead!”

“He's not dead,” she said, trying to minimize the panic.

“What if he is,” he said, staring off. “I can't lose him.”

“Hey, don't talk like that,” she said. “I thought you were over him.”

Aaron's eyes began to water. “Yeah, I thought so too,” he breathe out. He bit his lip, thinking. “I thought I could do this, I thought it would all be fine, we would just figure it out, and move on. But I can't. I can't watch him fall apart.”

Michelle sat there with him, she knelt into the grass and reached for Aaron's hand. “Aaron, you are not going to lose him. We are going to find him.”

Aaron nodded, wiping the tears from his eyes with his free handed. He got up, Michelle following. “I'm going to check Wiley's. It's the only place in town I can think of left. If he's not there then I don't know... maybe Scrappy can search him out.”

 

Aaron showed up to Wiley's alone, Michelle decided to go check around town once more, in case he'd showed up. Aaron hesitated as he walked up to the barn doors. The last time he had been there Robert had planned to propose. He had Lachlan in the boot of his car, and they were inching toward death later that day.

He held his breath going in, praying Robert would be in there, and he'd be alright.

“Robert?!” Aaron called, finding an unconscious body on the ground. He didn't know whether to be happy, or to keep panicking. He ran over, bending down and touching Robert's face. He tried shaking his shoulders and smacking his face (probably too hard, but he deserved it a bit).

“Robert? Robert!” he cried out. “Robert, wake up, please, I can't lose you!” he shouted, his voice cracking.

He propped Robert up, and tried to carry him to his car, mostly pulling him over. He opened the door and got Robert inside. He quickly texted Vic and Michelle and told them that he had found Robert, and he was going to take him to the hospital.

 


	10. Chapter Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't sleep, it's quarter to six in the morning now... so once again, this isn't edited. i wish i was sorry.  
> this is kind of rubbish, and i think the next chapter might be the last. but i hope you enjoy.  
> and thank you to all who have been commenting, those are my faves.

Robert woke, his head was completely wrecked, and he felt like he had been to hell and back. He wasn't quite sure where he was at first. He vaguely remembered passing out in a cold barn somewhere, maybe it was Moira's and she had found him, who knew.

Victoria was sitting in a chair to the side of his bed, flipping through a magazine. He cleared his throat to get her attention, she immediately ran to get a nurse and suddenly the room was flooded with nurses and doctors checking his vitals, and he didn't get a chance to figure out what had fully happened.

 

A little while later they let Victoria back in, since he seemed to be fine. He was cleared to talk, his throat hurt a bit from the tubes that had been shoved down his throat, but that didn't curb his sarcasm. Not for long at least, Robert did usually bounce back rather quickly.

He was quiet at first, he let Victoria sob and tell him how stupid he was and that she couldn't lose another brother. Outside the door he could see Diane standing with Doug, just watching him. But he couldn't see anyone else, and his heart sank.

“What happened?” Robert asked, cutting her off once she had gotten on a long rant about Andy.

“You drank too much, Rob,” she said, but he had gathered as much. “I knew it was bad, but I didn't realize it was this bad. Robert why didn't you say anything?”

He just stared at her.

“I meant, when you found me, where was I?” he asked, ignoring her comments.

She blinked, looking confused, as if he was missing something. “You were at Wiley's, but I didn't find you. Aaron did.”

Robert's eyebrows scrunched up. “Aaron found me?” He sat up. Victoria moved forward in her chair, making him hesitate from running out of the room. “Is he here?”

Victoria shook her head, which he had kind of already figured. He couldn't exactly see the waiting room from his room, but he didn't figure Aaron would stay around to wait on him. “He was though--” she said, proving him wrong. “--almost all night, but we sent him and Michelle home when you fell back unconscious after the stomach pump. We thought you might need your rest, and Aaron might too.”

“He was here?”

“Yeah, he was ready to stay, going on about how you had stayed for him. But they wouldn't even let him in this section of the hospital, it was family only for a while, and since you two were never really married...” she said, “So we thought there was no point in him sleeping in an uncomfortable hospital chair. Robert nodded, agreeing. Part of him was sad that he didn't fight to stay, but most of him was just surprised he had stayed at all. “He said he'd call later,” she added, noticing his interest. Robert nodded again.

He got up out of the bed, and reached over for his shirt, which had been taken off of him at some point. “I don't want to stay here,” he said. He threw on his flower-y button up top that somehow drunk Robert had been able to do up the day before. “I just want to go home,” he told her. She nodded, not saying anything more, since the doctor's had cleared him to go.

 

Michelle sat with Aaron at the pub. He hadn't been able to go home since he had found Robert. She wasn't sure if it was because he didn't want to face her brother, or if it was because he was hoping Robert would waltz in here like nothing had ever happened.

Harry had texted her a few times, asking if she had heard from Aaron. He was getting agitated, and somewhat rightfully so. She debated asking Aaron what he was thinking, but she worried it was painfully obvious, and she didn't really want to be the one to break it to her brother, and so she lied and said everything was fine, he was just busy.

“Do you want to go back and check on him?” she asked, as he nursed his pint, not having touched it and just staring off into the wall of the pub.

He shook his head.

“Do you want to go home, catch some sleep? Victoria did say she would call if he woke up...” she asked instead.

He shook his head again.

“Wow, you're both like each other,” she said mostly to herself, but he could hear her. “No wonder you were together.”

He turned his head toward her. His expression was so deadpan, it was a miracle anyone got any emotional response from him. “What if he dies?” he asked.

“He's not going to die,” she responded.

He started to look scared, like every possible scenario was running through his head. “God, this must have been what he felt like when I almost drowned. We should have never left him at the hospital. I can't believe I let Vic talk me out of staying,” he said to himself. He began to dig his nails into the skin on his hand. I could see him breaking the skin, and inching toward drawing blood.

I put my hand on his arm. “Babe, he's not going to die. The doctor said he was fine.”

“Then why didn't he wake up?” he said in a panic, his voice breaking.

“Maybe he was tired,” she suggested. “He probably hadn't slept in days. That boy loves you so much, sometimes he doesn't know what to do with himself.”

Aaron tucked his feet up on the bar stool with him, resting his chin on his knee. They both sat in silence for a bit, sipping on their pints.

“You love him still, don't you?” she asked, abruptly.

Aaron exhaled loudly, not looking over at her. He nodded slightly, she probably wouldn't have even noticed if she hadn't been looking at him. She didn't say anything else.

After another silence, Aaron pushed his stool back and stood up. “I have to go,” he announced, leaving his pint. Michelle got up to follow behind him.

As they left out the doors, Debbie pasted them, entering the pub. “Michelle, can I talk to you?” she asked, grabbing on to Michelle's wrist.

Michelle looking from Debbie to Aaron who was still going on. “Not right now, Debbie,” she said, desperate to follow him.

“It's important,” she said, looking sheepish. Michelle nodded, giving in, and followed Debbie over to a booth.

 

“What?” Michelle asked, not really in the mood to hear that Debbie was going back to Ross. “I know, you're dumping me, can you just get it over with?” she snipped.

“Dumping you?” Debbie asked. “That's not what I'm doing. I'm trying to explain myself to you, so you won't dumb me,” she said.

“Explain yourself?”

Debbie sighed. “What you saw with Ross the other day—it wasn't what it looked like.”

“I think it was exactly what it looked like,” Michelle countered.

Debbie nodded her head, agreeing that it looked bad. “Ross wants to get back together,” she told Michelle, which didn't surprise her. “He's been helping out at the garage, my dad's been busy, he wants to spend more time with Harriet, and Dan's been dealing with his brother coming back to the village or something. I needed some help... and Ross misunderstood the situation,” she explained. “I thought he could handle being just friends, but he always wants more.”

Michelle nodded, not really seeing the point. “Yeah, he likes you, and you like him. I don't know what you're trying to explain, I get the point. You can be with him if you want. I understand, I really do.”

She shook her head. “That's the point though. I don't want to be with him.”

“You don't?” Michelle asked, taken back. They had looked very cozy the other day, and Debbie had been giving her mixed signals when they were going out before. “But I thought—”

“I like you,” Debbie clarified, reaching for Michelle's hand.

“You do?”

“Of course I do, you idiot,” she said, laughing in a very untypical Debbie Dingle way, very carefree and open. She didn't really seem to care who was looking around at them, seeing them show genuine affection for the other.

“So, you like me?” Debbie nodded. “And not Ross?” Debbie shook her head. “This is a new development.”

“Michelle, you're amazing,” Debbie told her. “My kids love you, Sarah talks about you non-stop, and I can't stop thinking about you.” Michelle's heart did a backflip. “I can't either,” Michelle said in response. Debbie smiled, and they both leaned in for a kiss.

 

Aaron knocked on Harry's door, trying to even his breathing. Anyway this conversation was going to go, it wasn't going to end well or fairly.

“Aaron!” Harry said, opening up the door, allowing Aaron to come in. “I've been worried sick, why haven't you been picking up your phone?” he asked, as they both walked over to Harry's couch. “Do you want some tea?” he asked, fluttering over to the kitchen. “Where have you been?” he asked, busying himself with questions.

Aaron sat down on the edge of the couch, ready to hurry out at any second, this was not where he wanted to be. “Look, Harry, we've got to talk...” he said eventually, rubbing his sweaty hands on his pants nervously.

Harry put down the kettle, and came back to the couch. “Ah, it's that type of visit,” he declared.

“I'm sorry,” Aaron said immediately.

Harry put up a hand to stop him. “No need to be sorry, I should have known not to get attached. From the first mention of Robert I could see in your eyes that you weren't over him, everyone could.”

“You could?” Aaron asked self-consciously. He hadn't been aware that he was being so obvious.

“Yes, love,” he told him. “But, it's those great loves you can't ever really get over. No matter how much they hurt you.”

Aaron sighed, looking down at his shoes. Time and time again he wanted to get over Robert Sudgen, and yet he always found himself going back to him. “I love him,” he told Harry honestly.

“Of course you do,” Harry responded. He was taking this very amicably. “I wish my sister hadn't been right, but she has been on Team Robert even since we got to this town, and she is sadly always right.”

“I wanted to like you, I really did,” Aaron told him. It felt like when he went out with Flynn. Flynn was nice, he was cute, he was charming. Aaron enjoyed going out with him, the same way he had Harry. But something in the back of his head always told him it wasn't right, and it was never going to be right.

He nodded. “I know,” he said, understanding. “Are you going to get back together with him then?”

Aaron sat and thought about it for a moment. He had come here because it hadn't been fair to Harry, but he hadn't never thought about what was going to happen next. All of the problems they still had were present. Rebecca was still there, and she was still carrying Robert's child. Nothing had changed... except, at the same time, everything had. Seeing Robert lying there in the barn made him feel all sorts of things he was hoping not to feel. He didn't want to deal with all of Robert's drama... but he also didn't think he could live without him.

 

A little while later Aaron left the flat, after Harry had tried to offer him tea twice more. He felt rotten. He had tried to move on, and it just crumbled, and poor Harry took it so well. It was crushing to see that everyone except himself could see that he couldn't get over Robert.

He walked over to his car, still thinking about it, wanting nothing more than to go back and visit Robert. He opened his car door, ready to get inside, when he heard, “Aaron?” Robert Sugden was standing at the end of his drive, looking up from beneath his bangs, and his hands shoved in his pockets.

 


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter. Thanks to anyone who has read the whole thing. I'm sorry it got progressively worse.  
> As per my usual problem I didn't know how to end it, so I'm also sorry about that. But once again, thanks for reading my story :) I really appreciate the kudos and the comments

Aaron helped Robert inside, guiding him over to the couch and settling him in, before placing himself down on the chair adjacent to the couch. He watched nervously as Robert adjusted himself, getting comfortable. Aaron's knee began to shake, and he just wanted to go for a run. It felt strange to not tell Robert off for coming here, he knew he should be resting, and that they shouldn't be here right now.

“Did the doctor say it was okay to leave?” Aaron asked, biting a nail. Robert nodded. “Does anyone know you're here?” Robert shook his head. “What are you doing here?”

Robert looked at Aaron, noticing how nervous he looked, eyeing his crouched position, and crossed arms. “I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“Me? You're the one that was in the hospital,” Aaron pointed out.

“I know,” Robert answered. “I just selfishly thought maybe you were worried.”

Aaron nodded and inhaled deeply. “I was. I am.” Robert nodded silently. “Are you okay, Rob, you drank a lot. And your room...”

Robert flinched. “Yeah, I know. I was stupid, and upset.”

“Robert, you're going to be some kid's dad...” Aaron reminded him. “You have got to be better than this.”

Robert looked away, hoping that they never had to talk about that. He closed his eyes, hoping maybe Rebecca and the baby would just go away. “I don't want that. Not really. I know I should be there... but I hate it. I hate what that baby has cost me.”

Aaron scoffed, “You've got half a mill, I think you can afford a few baby things.”

Robert looked right at Aaron in disbelief. “I meant you, you idiot.” Aaron paused, making an oh shape with his mouth. “Right,” he said.

There was a silence between them for a bit. Aaron got up eventually and put his hands in his pockets. “You should probably get some rest,” he announced.

Robert shook his head. “I don't want to go home, Vic's going to talk my ear off.”

“You can use the bed upstairs,” Aaron offered, nodding toward the stairs. Robert looked surprised to hear him say that, but didn't decline the offer. He got up from his seat, kicking his shoes off at the door, and climbed the stairs carefully, leaving Aaron alone in the living room.

 

After Robert had all settled, and Aaron had a chance to busy himself cleaning, Victoria came knocking on the front door looking for Robert. She walked in without invitation, as Vic often did, looking around the living room. “Is he here? I figured he'd come here,” she said in a whirlwind.

Aaron scoffed, “Vic, you didn't seem to concerned about him when he was locking himself up in his room drinking all day. What does it matter if he's here.”

“I didn't realize how serious it was, Aaron! He's my brother! I thought he was okay if he was home,” she said, a bit of panic developing in her voice.

Aaron felt a ping of guilt. He walked over to his friend and gave her a hug. “He's fine. He's upstairs resting,” he told her, as she began to cry.

“But what am I going to do with him, is he going to keep being like this?” she asked, pulling away and looking up toward the stairs. “You've moved on, why can't he?”

Aaron tilted his head back and forth, “Well...”

“What, has he found someone? Did he tell you something?” she asked. “Oh no, he's gotten with Rebecca again? I'm sorry Aaron, I just wanted him to be a part of his son's life.”

He cleared his throat, shaking his head awkwardly. “Actually, no... me. I, uh, broke up with Harry,” he told her.

Victoria sat down, a little taken back. “Why?” she asked, confused. “I thought things were going well with you two, you both seemed happy.”

“We were, I guess,” Aaron responded. He shrugged. “You just know when it's right and when it's wrong.”

“And it's was wrong?” Aaron reluctantly nodded. “And with my brother it's right...?” she asked, trying to act casually. Aaron didn't respond. “Aaron?”

“I don't know, Vic,” he answered. “Like you said, she's having his kid. Maybe he should be with her.”

“Yeah, but that doesn't have to stand in your way. Adam and I were still together when he thought Johnny was his son. It's hard, but you can get over it.”

“But why should I?” Aaron asked, as he had before. “He gets away with everything, why should he get away with this?”

Victoria didn't know how to answer him. He was right, he shouldn't have to do this if he didn't want to, and he had displayed that he didn't want to. But it was also obvious that neither of them were coping as well as they were six months ago.

“You love him though,” she pointed out.

“Is that enough? You and Adam broke up, didn't you?”

Victoria nodded. “Yeah, and I wish we hadn't.”

 

Soon Victoria left, and Aaron sat alone downstairs, going over all his thoughts until the sun went down. He knew he was going to drive himself crazy thinking over everything. He knew it was stupid, but he could list so many times that he hadn't thought rationally when he came to Robert. Everything from their very beginning had been stupid, being with him at all was a mistake.

Yet, here he was. In a house they built, pictures of their wedding surrounding him. They had gone from being an affair, to saving each other over and over, and hurting each other over and over. And no matter what he said or did, he's still in him, what he does still counts.

_Aaron was always going to love him, and Robert was always going to love him. It was inevitable. So was that baby, it was always going to be around them, it was always going to be a part of Robert's life, there to remind him of the stupid stuff Robert did._

This is what was going to drive him mad. This was going to go over and over and over in his mind. It had been for months. And yet here he was. Robert was upstairs in his bed, he had just broken up with Harry. None of it made sense. Nothing he's done this week had made sense, when all he's been doing lately has been trying to make sense.

 

Aaron climbed the stairs, tired from the day. He got to his room, seeing Robert still asleep on the bed, he just stared at him—a sight he almost wasn't used to seeing, as if he hadn't been this way for almost a year of his life. He changed quickly, and slid into bed next to Robert, trying not to disturb him.

Robert moaned quietly, kicking his feet out from the ball he had pulled himself into. Aaron watched him intently, as Robert turned over and stared at Aaron. “Do you want me to leave?” he asked.

Aaron shook his head.

“I can go,” Robert said.

“Don't,” Aaron told him. With ease, both of them fell asleep.

 

The next morning Robert had awoken before Aaron, it wasn't an unusual occurrence. Aaron was not a morning person. Robert snuck downstairs to make them both some breakfast, as a thank you for letting him stay there. Robert made a couple eggs, and some toast for Aaron. Noticing the mess around the room, he attempted to clean up. Aaron had definitely been living up the bachelor lifestyle the past couple of months.

Aaron stumbled down an hour later, still with a head full of bedhead. “Thanks,” he muttered, seeing that Robert had finished his clean up he hadn't finished the night before.

“I, uh, made you this,” Robert said, nudging at the plate on the counter. “It was an hour ago, so it's probably cold now, sorry,” he added, as he pulled his jacket on.

“Thanks,” Aaron said again. “You going back to Home Farm?” he asked, curiously. Robert shook his head. “Vic's? She came by earlier.”

Robert shook his head again. “I don't know. I might just walk around a bit. Clear my head.”

Aaron nodded, and they both stood in silence. “Or...” he said. “You could stay?”

Robert raised his eyebrows, interested. He pulled off his jacket again as Aaron sat down in the kitchen with his cold plate, eating away at it.

“I have to tell you something,” Aaron said, toast still in hand.

Robert sat down, folding his hands in his lap, bracing himself for the news. Aaron was getting married again, he and Harry were moving away, taking Liv with them. Aaron was dying, he had contracting a rare disease, he only had a few months to live. Aaron hated him, he never wanted to see him again, they could never get back together. A million different things were going through his head of what Aaron could be telling him. His heart broke into a thousand pieces pre-emptively.

There was silence, too much silence for Robert to take. “What?” he asked, almost impatiently. Aaron always kept things to himself, neither of them were good talking about stuff, but this was so ominous.

“I broke up with Harry,” Aaron told him.

Robert was taken a back. Of the millions of different things that went through his head, that was the last one he thought of—he of course still thought it, but only in a selfish, hopeful, longing way. He never once thought that was what seriously was going to come out of Robert's mouth.

“Why?” he asked, dumbfounded.

Aaron lost his words. He just stared at Robert with a look of confusion. “Because of you, you dummy.”

“Me?” Robert asked, his heart was elated. He was almost curious if this was still a dream.

Aaron leaned back on his stool awkwardly, as if ready to jump away from the conversation. He sighed audibly. “I hate talking about this sort of stuff,” he said, which Robert (along with anyone around him) already knew. “But yeah, I tried to get over you...you, and Rebecca, and that baby,” he struggled to get out. “And I can't.”

Robert exhaled, like really exhaled, like all the air was leaving his body. He hadn't felt this sort of relief since Aaron had forgiven him the first time.

“...Are you sure?” Robert asked, unsure what else to say.

“No,” Aaron laughed, answering honestly. “I just know that you saved me, and now I saved you. I hated how it felt to almost lose you. And you and I are just rubbish behind apart,” Aaron said, trying to articulate himself. “My mum is going to have a totally utterly different opinion when she gets home,” he warned.

Robert scoffed. “I've had a few colourful texts from her already.”

“Sorry about that.”

“I deserve it,” Robert said quietly.

Aaron winced at Robert's words. He did, technically, deserve it. But at the same time there was a question of whether he did, Robert never meant for any of this. He just wanted to retaliate on a situation that was imposed on him—he just did it in a rather stupid way, as Robert often did. That blame he was putting on himself wasn't as necessary as everyone was making him believe.

Robert and Aaron were very good at hurting each other—in the ed it was one of the things they did best—but, the other thing they did better was love each other, and they understood each other better than anyone else did or ever would. And that was why Aaron wanted to forgive Robert, because as much as he hated, he loved him more. And that had been hard to accept, as he developed over the past several weeks, but even harder to put into words now.

Aaron sat down with Robert, taking his left hand in his own, playing with Robert's ring on his finger, and looked up at Robert, telling him, “I don't want easy. I want messed up, with you,” he paused as Robert squeezed his hand, before he added, “forever.”

Robert nodded agreeing, “Forever.”

“They don't matter, you know,” Robert added, “Rebecca and the baby.”

“We're going in circles,” Aaron told him. “If your kid matters that's fine. Just tell me. If Vic could get used to Johnny, then maybe I can get used to this.

“We need to stop lying to each other, and we need to just stop doing stupid stuff. We have to trust each other.”

“Have you been... since I've been gone?” Robert asked, eyeing Aaron's stomach. Aaron shook his head. Robert sighed. “Because I've been gone? Is this even a good idea?”

“Because I've been able to separate myself, and think about all this.. I've been able to see what matters, and what needs to effect me... and I've been talking to my councillor. Clearly,” Aaron told him. “I can deal with myself.”

“No, you can't,” Robert argued. “Not if we're together. You can't keep bottling things up, okay? Even if it has to do with me. You're not alone—not anymore.”

Aaron choked back tears that were forming in the corners of his eyes. It felt wrong without Robert, it felt like half of him was missing. They were messed up, both of them, but that's what he wanted. Messed up, together.

“I love you,” Robert told him, still squeezing onto the other man's hand.

“I love you too,” Aaron answered back, not letting go.

 


End file.
